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A Mothers Question



A mothers question and my answer
I hope this will help. if you have a question please send me the question

Question: My daughter (9) doesn’t like the new guy in my life. It’s been a year, I’ve only brought him around a handful of times because I know her feelings.
But now, it’s getting old, I want the relationship to grow, I feel like her feelings are set that she's not going to come around.
This guy has done nothing but respects me and her, and her boundaries. She won’t budge, lots of anger and tears.
HELP!

My Answer is :
You need to respect first your child's feelings, She may sense something about him she is not comfortable with and you're not seeing it, or she is feeling that this is not the time for her and you to change things, she is 9 and she needs you more in her life then you think, this is the time when all will go by so very fast.
So not saying you cannot date, but respect her and don't bring him around yet. When she is older and this man is in your life still, then she can respect him that he cared enough about you and her and then you can go from there. You will also need to see why you feel that you need this man in your life. Is it that you need a companion, or a lover, or looking for a real commitment with true love.
And a note to all women and men don't let your guard down as you never know a person your bringing in your home with your kids. He or she may be wonderful but as a mom or dad with kids your their protectors because they are children and they need you.
On the anger and tears I hope they are yours and not your child, she is young and she should not go through stress like this because she is a child, if there are anger and tears then this is not a relationship now.
forcing a new person in your life and wanting your kids to like them because you do is never going to work. Switch it and you are a child how would you feel at this age? what if this happened to you and you had no say on this matter.
Because your making a child choose or making a decision when she is just a child. take it slow, go on dates sometimes take her alone on a mother-daughter dinner or movie and then sometimes with your man that you love not just any man only the man you are serious with and show her that a girl can make the choices in her life.
Also always tell her she is beautiful and wonderful and that your sorry if you made her cry or you got mad. You will see that as a child we always longed for that when we were kids and wish our parents did that. I hope this helped
by Monique Diaz Layzell©